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Forgiveness of oneself & tips on self love

Hey there guys n girls ! We have had a question asking about advice for self-forgiveness. This is a very important subject as I feel as though most people struggle with accepting past decisions or letting go of certain damaging beliefs. I’ve researched a little about other’s experiences along with myself in order to put together some tips on this subject.


There is no one path or definite method to forgive yourself. We are all so unique and have completely different experiences from each other which makes it problematic to compare ourselves to someone else’s self-forgiveness journey. However, this doesn’t mean they aren’t useful, it just means we shouldn’t focus too hard or beat ourselves up if we don’t reach the same results for ourselves. There seems to be a lot of pressure around forgiveness and the huge wave of liberation you should feel after letting go. This can feel quite scary and seem like an impossible outcome to achieve. So, a clever tip if you feel pressure around forgiving yourself is to remove that concept completely and instead concentrate on healing. Healing is the process of becoming healthy/ happy again and during this process the idea of forgiveness is meant to spontaneously occur. It is about listening to ourselves and accepting how we are right now, our emotional state and our reality. Being present is about understanding we don’t always make the right decisions and sometimes we do hurt other’s emotions. Being honest and becoming more in touch with ourselves is a form of self-love and the start of learning our worth ( which is priceless !!). This is an absolutely beautiful thing and I will go on to talk about a few healing methods people use to listen to themselves and release suppressed thoughts.


One habit I do religiously when I feel down or even confused about how I feel is focus hard on the emotion. Firstly, become aware of the emotion and see it as valid even if you don’t quite understand what it is. Listen empathetically to yourself and try to write down words you associate with it and why you think you feel that way. Then embrace and experience the emotion fully without the mindset to change or fix the way you feel. This could mean by closing your eyes, sitting comfortably, focusing on that feeling and perhaps finding where in your body is holding tension. This can be quite hard so I find it easier to listen to a guided meditation on suppressed emotions (I will link below).

Once we have fully felt and accepted our current emotional state then we can actively seek new ways to look at things to feel better. This can be by bringing in a new perspective or releasing negative thought patterns. This practice can take time to be effective and can be challenging at first but hopefully will allow you to feel clearer.

When I looked into other’s experiences they have too said that they had to evaluate their own 'damages' in order to move on. Overall, accepting and understanding your emotional state and perhaps a certain incident might help you feel lighter and learn something new.


Here are some more healing techniques that help people let go and accept the way they feel


  • Write a letter to yourself or someone else. You could light these letters on fire or put them in a mailbox without a stamp as an act of letting go of those feelings. But, that isn’t necessary and writing a letter might just allow you to understand your feelings more or help find a new perspective.

  • Journaling. Expressing anything whatsoever that might be on your mind can help you release bottled down emotions as well.

  • Volunteering. The act of helping others can also help you reflect on yourself and understand things in a new light as well as making you feel good.

  • Start mindful practices if that’s meditating, being grateful daily ( writing three things down everyday for example), yoga or just taking time to notice how you feel.

  • Art Therapy. This is when you draw or paint absolutely anything you want with no intention what the picture will turn out like. The end result will be like a picture of your mind and perhaps depict your thoughts. For instance, the first time I did this I subconsciously drew a dark figure shielded from light and color and pastel swirls. This was scarily accurate because I did feel very isolated and excluded at that time. So, I would highly recommend this method especially as you don’t need to have creative abilities whatsoever!


So, there are some healing techniques that I hope might make you feel better. I feel that self-forgiveness, self-love, self-respect and all the ‘selfs’ out there are very interconnected. This article is not just about forgiveness but mainly about taking care of yourself. Spending time to listen to myself has really helped me grow and learn to love and understand myself more and more. I hope these methods can help but if not that’s okay too! Just do the things that make you happy if that’s watching the Great British Bake Off or listening to the Camp Rock soundtrack and remember grl wrld is here to support you.


This is a little advice from my personal perspective on the topic but I would highly recommend looking at The forgiveness project if you would like to learn more about other experiences. The Forgiveness Project collects and shares stories from both victims/survivors and perpetrators of crime and conflict who have rebuilt their lives following hurt and trauma.



Article by Charlotte and Art by Kira from GRL WRLD Baby !




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